The Very Long Night of Gourry Gabriev
by savvyliterate
Summary: After visiting Taforashia, Gourry falls into a strange magical coma and must face the demons of his past during the very long night that follows for him, Lina, and the rest of their group.
1. Chrysalis

**Disclaimer:** Slayers does not belong to me, but belongs to Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi and the companies that represent them. I'm just borrowing the characters for a little while.

**Spoiler alert:** This story takes place after episode 5 of Slayers Revolution and goes off on its own tangent from there. Characters introduced to the new series such as Pokota are included in this story and spoilers from the first five episodes, the novels, and Kanzaka interviews are prevalent throughout this fic. Many thanks go to raywing and EarthStar for betaing this story.

Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж

Chapter 1: Chrysalis

"_What is it?"_  
"_A chrysalis. She is changing."_  
"_Into what?"_  
"_I don't know."  
- Sinclair and Lennier: "Chrysalis," Babylon 5._

Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж

She woke up crying.

Lina's eyes shot open and her hands immediately lifted to her cheeks, finding them wet as tears slid down, around her chin, and finally pooling onto her neck. It took all of her control to stop her breath from hitching, her chest from heaving, and from making any sort of sound that would give away the fact that she'd had the nightmare. Again.

She reached to her side and only found the edge of the nightstand instead of the warm body she'd grown used to having next to her. She sat up, pushing her hair out of her face as she gazed at the sleeping form on the opposite side of the room. Amelia. That's right, she was rooming with Amelia once more. She and Gourry had been on their own for so long that when their sleeping arrangements changed during their travels beyond the barrier, she thought little of it until after Zelgadiss and Amelia rejoined them in Ruvinagard. She recounted the events of the past few days in her mind as she tossed the blankets aside, then gaped as Amelia shifted.

Perched next to Amelia's head, snuggled up on top of her hair, was the prince-turned-small-creature Pokota. He drooled in his sleep, it pooling on top of Amelia's hair. Lina rolled her eyes and hoped that Pokota would have the sense to wake up and slip back into the other room before Zelgadiss rose. She didn't want the chimera grumbling over Pokota's developing crush on Amelia. She didn't think she could take it at the moment.

Lina stumbled out of the room and headed down the hall to the small bathroom. She scrubbed her face until it felt raw, but didn't feel any better. She looked up from the towel and swore the room was lined with blue crystals, all of them containing the same person. Long, blond hair. Cracked black armor. An impossibly young face looking serene and composed.

_Gourry_.

Lina swallowed every urge to barge into the room that the men shared just to make sure that Gourry was in his bed, where he should be. She knew he was safe and other than the constantly pressing need to find him a new sword, more urgent now than ever, he was fine. So, she decided to solve this issue the same way she tackled every problem – with food. She'd rather had gone after bandits, but they were still an endangered species. Plus, there was Wizer Freon looking for any chance he could get to arrest her. Lina heaved a sigh at the thought. She was definitely going to stick with food.

She crept down stairs, the wooden floors creaking beneath her bare feet. She'd forgotten slippers and a robe, she realized as she reached the spacious kitchen. It didn't matter. She was only going to help herself to a small snack then try to get some sleep.

Lina had just reached for a loaf of bread when she heard the rattle of a pie plate. She whirled, bread in hand, and saw the back door was open and blond hair just on the other side. Everything inside her relaxed and she ate the bread as she headed outside.

"Whatcha doin'?" she asked as she settled herself on the stoop next to Gourry, who was making his way through what had once been an entire shepherd's pie.

"Was hungry," he replied between bites of meat and mashed potato. He offered his fork. "Want some?"

Lina swallowed the last of the bread, took his fork, and spooned up a large chunk of it. "Thanks."

They ate in companionable silence, passing the fork back and forth between them with such calm and civility that had any of their friends witnessed it, they would be convinced that both were possessed. When Lina devoured the last bite, Gourry set the empty pie plate aside. They sat, not moving or speaking as they looked out over the garden, chicken coop and outbuildings that were behind the inn. After a moment, Lina felt Gourry's hand move through her hair and with a contented sigh, she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

"Had a nightmare," she admitted.

"What of?"

_Crystals. Phibrizzo. You. Shattering._ "Nothing much," Lina lied. "Just small creatures chewing on my head in my sleep again."

"I thought that Pokota fella was chewing on Amelia's head?"

"Touché." Lina was relieved when Gourry didn't press further. In the months after the battle with Phibrizzo, when they had traveled beyond the Mazoku barrier, she never told him that the nightmares constantly plaguing her were of him. It was why she shoved him so far away when they were fighting Valgaav. She didn't want him to know. He didn't remember, and in her mind, his captivity was the one thing that he could keep on forgetting and she would never complain about it.

She stole a glance at him. He hummed beneath his breath as he stroked her hair and she started to feel drowsy again. She closed her eyes and was half-asleep when she felt the flinch. Sleepily, she turned her gaze up and saw Gourry with his eyes closed, grimacing. He flinched again, reaching up with his other hand and absently rubbing his temples.

"What is it?" Lina sat up, trying to remember the last time she'd seen Gourry in any pain that she hadn't directly caused.

"Just a headache." His normally cheerful voice was strained, but he still smiled at her. "Been getting them ever since we were in that Taffy-Terria place a couple days ago."

"Taforashia," Lina automatically corrected, then frowned. "You've had them since then?"

"Yeah." Gourry rubbed his temples once more. "Ever since we were around those blue crystals where everybody was asleep. The one where that Rezo guy was suppose to wake them up because the cure to that disease was found, but then he went missing."

"We killed him, remember? You, me, and Zel! It happened nearly five years… oh, what am I saying? You don't even remember what we had for breakfast yesterday." Lina narrowed her eyes. "Didn't you say that Taforashia sounded familiar to you? Now you don't remember the name?"

"I did? Didn't I?" Gourry tapped his chin. "Yeah, it does sound… Ow…" He leaned forward, cradling his head in his hands. "Sorry."

Lina blinked at him, her heart beating a little erratically. She'd seen Gourry act odd plenty of times over the years, but now… "Come on," she ordered, grabbing his arm. "We're going to wake Amelia up. Can't do anything useful if you have a raging migraine."

"I don't think it's a migraine, Lina."

"Do you even know what a migraine is, Gourry?"

He didn't reply, and she assumed he didn't know. She led the way back into the inn, marching up the stairs and back into the room she and Amelia share. She banged the door against the wall as she threw it open. "Amelia, wake up!"

The princess grumbled in her sleep, pulled the covers over her head and turned away from the door. Pokota burrowed on top of Amelia's blankets, muttering in his sleep something about not being a small creature.

Lina growled beneath her breath and headed to the side of the bed Amelia now faced. She yanked the covers back and held her hand inches in front of Amelia's eyes. "_Lighting_!"

Amelia came awake with a scream, accidentally throwing Pokota off the bed in the process. He landed against the opposite wall and slid to the ground in a heap. She sat up, rubbing furiously eyes before glaring at Lina. "Lina-san! That's dangerous to cast such a spell at a close range! What were you trying to do, blind me?"

"If you would only wake up like a normal person…"

"You probably woke up half the city with what you did! Do you not have any sense of decorum at all?"

"Amelia!" Zelgadiss pushed past Gourry as he raced into the room, sword in hand. "Are you okay?"

"Lina-san's being mean again," Amelia replied, leaning back so she could directly address Zelgadiss without Lina blocking her view.

"I am not!" Lina retorted.

"Ow…" Pokota flopped onto his back, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. "That hurt…"

"You!" Zelgadiss swiftly crossed the room and lifted Pokota by the ears. He glared at the small creature. "How the hell did you get in here? You're not supposed to be with the girls."

Pokota started flailing, waving his small arms frantically as he swayed back and forth. "You don't have any say in what I do!"

"I do when it's molesting Amelia in her sleep!"

"Who says I'm doing anything to Amelia? Someone has to protect her!"

"That's exactly what I'm doing!" Zelgadiss roared.

"Zelgadiss-san, please! Pokota-san didn't mean any harm," Amelia pleaded. She scrambled out of bed and placed a hand on Zelgadiss's arm. "He was just lonely and I said he could sleep with me…"

"You said he could _what_?"

Lina folded her arms over her chest. "Looks like someone's jealous of a small plushie."

"Stay out of this, Lina-san!" Amelia snapped.

"I am not a small plushie!" Pokota yelled at the same time that Zelgadiss yelled, "Who said anything about being jealous?"

The argument quickly escalated as Zelgadiss and Pokota yelled at each other while Amelia did her best to restrain Zelgadiss from pummeling Pokota. Lina offered smart remarks, which prompted Amelia to start yelling at her as well. A quick cast of a room-silencing spell by Amelia prevented them all from waking up the other patrons. After about five minutes, one voice managed to cut through the chaos.

"Lina…"

Lina turned in time to see Gourry, who'd lingered near the doorway the entire time, suddenly pitch forward onto his knees. He held his face in his hands, tears streaming through his fingers as his breath hitched. "Gourry!" she cried, rushing to his side as the fighting between Zelgadiss and Pokota quickly subsided.

"Hurts," he managed as Lina put her arm around his shoulders. "Hurt so much, Lina…"

"Easy, easy. Amelia!"

She dashed over, crouching on Gourry's other side. "Where does it hurt, Gourry-san?"

"Head," he managed and Amelia managed to press her fingers against his temple. She immediately jerked it back. "He's got a really high fever, Lina-san!"

Lina scooted around in front of him so she could take a closer look. Gourry slowly drew his hands away from his face. His eyes were red and the pain she saw in them was immense. They focused, unfocused, focused once more as his body began to shake. He reached for her. "So sorry… Lina. So…" His voice trailed off as he tumbled forward into her arms.

"Gourry!" Her voice pitched high with panic as she shook him, and she was unaware of the tears starting to stream down her own face. "What the hell are you doing? Wake up! Gourry!"

Zelgadiss moved quickly, pulling Gourry into his arms and hefting him onto Lina's bed. The three quickly moved around him as Amelia started casting various spells. Pokota flew up to one of the bedposts, watching Lina silently as she took Gourry's lax hand in her own and squeezed tightly, her focus solely on his pain-ridden face.

Amelia quickly cast a _Recovery_, but it didn't ease the pained look. She glanced quickly at Lina, then at Zelgadiss. She jerked her head toward Lina slightly. Recognizing the signal, Zelgadiss moved silently to Lina's side, ready to restrain her if need be. After a moment, Amelia started to chant the _Resurrection_ spell.

"How long has this been going on?" Zelgadiss asked, hoping to distract Lina.

"Gourry said his head started hurting when we were in Taforashia. He said it's been getting worse, but he hasn't said anything. He told me about it a few minutes ago. That's why I was waking Amelia up." Lina glanced at Amelia. When she realized what Amelia was doing, Lina's heart nearly stopped. "Is he that bad?" she demanded. Amelia gave a curt nod as she chanted.

"Such an immense effort. It'll go to waste."

They heard the disembodied voice a moment before Xelloss flickered into view. He gave the group a smile. "Good evening, everyone."

"Xelloss," Lina breathed as Zelgadiss brandished his sword once more.

"So quick on the draw, aren't you Zelgadiss-san?" Xelloss arched an eyebrow. "It's almost as if you hate me or something."

"I'm not exactly inclined to build any shrines in your honor," Zelgadiss snapped at him.

"You're the guy siding with Dulcris and that marquess!" Pokota yelled.

"Got it in one." Xelloss lifted a finger. "However, I am currently not here in that capacity, but more as an informant."

"Why help us if you're also helping them?" Amelia asked.

"Why did I choose to help you against Darkstar?" Xelloss replied. "After all, we had every reason to side with him as well."

"Except when it goes against your own purposes," Lina spoke up. Her grip on Gourry's hand tightened. "So, apparently, Gourry is worth more to you in peak physical condition than he is right now. You would think your marquess would want him out of the picture, along with the rest of us."

Xelloss's eyes opened and Lina saw the light glinting dangerously in them. "You and I both know what happened the last time Gourry-san was taken from you against your will."

Zelgadiss and Amelia both sucked in a breath. Pokota glanced at them, then at the face-off between Lina and Xelloss. "What…"

"Not now, Pokota-san," Amelia immediately replied, and Pokota's curiosity grew.

"Are you sure that what you have to say isn't one of your so-called secrets?" Lina asked Xelloss.

"I could … but you've already figured out part of it on your own – or would have given a few more minutes. Really, it's quite fascinating." Xelloss perched on the foot of the bed and gave a nod to Gourry. "Gourry-san has been affected by the power of the spell that Rezo put on the kingdom of Taforashia – the same spell cast on him when he was held captive by Phibrizzo."

"We all had that spell cast on us at one point or another," Zelgadiss retorted. "Why isn't it affecting us?"

"It is affecting me," Lina said quietly. She looked over her shoulder at Zel. "I'm having dreams … nightmares, really. About that time. I hadn't had them for a very long time."

"It's also not affecting you or Amelia-san because in a way, Phibrizzo had already caused your hearts to stop beating before encasing you in the crystals," Xelloss explained. "Gourry-san spent what… a good month under Phibrizzo's control?"

"Three weeks and two days," Lina said tonelessly. Amelia reached across the bed and laid her hand atop Lina's.

"And Lina-san… Well, you know what happened after she cast that spell," Xelloss said, his gaze flickering over to Pokota as he said it. "That part was sealed off as well. The magic from Rezo's spell is causing your respective magical blocks to fall. Gourry-san is in a coma caused by the magic as his brain sorts out what happened. Essentially, he's reliving his past."

"That's terrible!" Amelia cried. "He shouldn't have to remember what happened during that time – when Phibrizzo made him fight us and he nearly killed Lina-san!"

"Gourry wouldn't be able to live with that fact very well," Zelgadiss said in agreement.

"Is he going to wake up?" Lina asked.

"Oh, yes. He'll most likely be awake by tomorrow, though the process could easily take a couple weeks or more. It's hard to say with these sorts of things. Gourry is in a chrysalis state, you could say. His memories are being reformed. In any case, now that I'm finished being your _deus ex machina_, I shall leave you four to enjoy the rest of your night in peace." Xelloss waved and flickered out of view before they could ask anything else.

Zelgadiss, Amelia and Lina all looked at each other, then down at Gourry. His breathing was still erratic, his face screwed up in pain. Lina heaved a sigh, pushing her hand through her hair as she did so. "Well," she said, "we've got no choice but to wait for Gourry to wake up." She grabbed the room's single chair, dragged it back to the bed and plopped down.

"While we're waiting… what the hell's going on here?"

Their eyes turned to Pokota, who was still perched on the end of the bed, scowling at them all.

"It's a long story, Pokota-san…," Amelia hesitated, giving both Zelgadiss and Lina a worried look.

"We have time." Pokota sat as well, folding his arms across his chest. "Start."

Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж

**Author's Note:** This story has been gelling in my mind in one form or another since reading the story "Flam Gush" by Kaitrin in 2005. The framework for the core piece – exploring Gourry's past – was originally a fic set in the future revolving around the family that he and Lina have in my world. Despite writing handfuls of really good scenes, nothing ever came together into a solid plot.

Then Revolution happened.

After watching episode 5, the framework for this story emerged. The title, "The Very Long Night of Gourry Gabriev" is paying homage to _Babylon 5_ and the episode "The Very Long Night of Londo Mollari." Another fic paying homage to this idea was done in the Harry Potter universe. I highly recommend "The Very Long Night of Harry Potter" to folks interested in that series. The chapter titles and some of the themes in this story are inspired not only by _B5_, but by _Doctor Who_. I hope that you all will enjoy this story!


	2. The Empty Child

**Disclaimer:** Slayers does not belong to me, but belongs to Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi and the companies that represent them. I'm just borrowing the characters for a little while.

**Spoiler alert:** This story takes place after episode 6 of Slayers Revolution and goes off on its own tangent from there. Characters introduced to the new series such as Pokota are included in this story and spoilers from the first five episodes, the novels, and Kanzaka interviews are prevalent throughout this fic. Many thanks go to raywing and EarthStar for betaing this story.

Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж

Chapter 2: The Empty Child

"_What's this, then? It's never easy being the only child left out in the cold, you know."  
_"_I suppose you'd know."_  
"_I do, actually, yes."  
- The Ninth Doctor and Nancy: "The Empty Child," Doctor Who_

Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж

"_Happy birthday, son!"_

_Gourry's eyes widened, as a long package was proudly set before him, the box nearly as tall as he was. "Is it a sword?" he asked eagerly._

_The blond-haired man who'd given him the package laughed and ruffled his hair. "Is it a sword, he asks? You've only been asking me for a sword for the past three years. Go ahead and…," his voice trailed off as he saw the little boy had already torn into the package, "open it."_

_Gourry pulled the lid off the box and frowned at the wooden sword nestled among the tissue paper. "This isn't a real sword!" he protested._

"_Six years old is a bit too young for a real sword. This is so you can begin learning how to handle a sword so you can have a real blade one day. I'm going to teach you myself."_

_Gourry's eyes lit up. "Really, Father?"_

"_Really," his father affirmed and Gourry felt like he'd been handed the entire world plus a piece of chocolate cake. He cradled the wooden practice sword reverently before turning eager eyes to his father. "Will I be able to use the Sword of Light one day?"_

_His father smiled sadly at him. "I'm sorry, son. You know your brother is to inherit that blade."_

"_I just want to use it a little!" Gourry protested. He thought it was a bit unfair that his 13-year-old brother would inherit the Sword of Light and not he. Raol had never shown any sort of interest in swords and seemed more interested in playing cards and going hunting with their uncle. Gourry had wanted to use a sword as long as he could remember, waving around little sticks while pretending to be just like his father. He knew that the Swordsman of Light was the greatest swordsman alive and his father was certainly that, wasn't he?_

_His father didn't say anything for a while, then pulled the sword he carried at his side out of its sheath. Gourry watched, fascinated as his father took a pin out of his pocket and pressed it into a little notch in the sword's hilt. He removed the blade and placed it on the bench next to them, then held the bladeless hilt out in front of him. "Light, come forth!" he yelled._

_A bright, blue beam of light shot out of the sword. It took on a solid state and held steady. It reminded Gourry of the pictures he'd seen of a longsword, but the blade wasn't as long. He didn't notice at first that his father had moved to his side and was holding the sword's hilt in front of him. He knelt, took one of Gourry's hands and wrapped it around the hilt, then the other._

_Gourry's eyes went wide as his father took his hands away. The sword didn't seem so heavy just by looking at it, but his arms trembled from the weight. To the surprise of both of them, the blade changed shape, growing longer and brighter._

_Gourry didn't notice his father gazing at him in a strange way, an immense look of sadness in his eyes. All he cared was that he was being allowed to hold the legendary Sword of Light and comforted himself with knowing that this one moment would have to be enough. For Gourry Gabriev was a second-born son and even at the age of six, he knew he was not fated to wield the Sword of Light._

_Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж_

The memory shimmered and the vision of the father and the little boy faded into nothingness. After a moment, the little boy in the dream – now 20 years older – blinked open his eyes and sat up.

It was strange, Gourry thought as he mulled over the vision. He hadn't thought of his father in years. He was hard-pressed to remember what he even looked like, much less recall the sound of his voice. He knew he hadn't thought about his 6th birthday in well… since it happened. He drew his knees up and wanted to tell Lina about it before he forgot. She would know why he was thinking about such a thing now. Maybe it had something to do with the headaches….

… That was mysteriously gone.

"Hey!" Gourry said aloud, pressing his fingers to his temples. For the first time in a week, he was pain-free and felt pretty good. Perhaps Amelia did some white magic on him while he was asleep. He'd have to thank her for that. He started to swing his legs over the side of the bed when he realized that he wasn't in one. His booted feet hit the ground hard and he winced before taking a good look at his surroundings.

He was actually under a tree, the shade protruding over the creek that flowed past just a few feet away. He was in some sort of meadow, with short, cropped grass with flowers dotting it. Gourry rubbed the back of his head. He didn't have the best memory, but even he remembered when they changed locations. Lina wasn't going to let him live down the fact that he'd apparently forgotten that they left the inn for a long time. And, speaking of Lina, he wondered, where was she, Zelgadiss, Amelia, and the little creature Pokota?

"Ah, you're awake. It was about time."

Gourry glanced over his shoulder and saw a man with long black hair sitting a few feet away. A cigarette dangled from his mouth, and he loosely held onto a fishing pole that he'd cast into the water. A lure bobbled a few feet away from the shore. Gourry frowned at the man; positive he'd seen him before. A man … cigarette … fishing … "I know you, don't I?"

The man looked up, gave a crooked grin that reminded Gourry very much of Lina. "You know me enough to remember that you've seen me before, but not well enough to remember who I am, Gourry. After all, I'm just an acquaintance you met five years ago."

"Five years… That's when I met Lina!" The pieces of the puzzle fell into place and Gourry slammed the fist of one hand into the palm of the other. "You're the guy who helped me fight Mazoku right before I met Lina! Where did you go anyhow?"

"Oh, here and there. Had to go back home before my wife and daughter worried."

Gourry scratched the back of his head. "I thought you had two daughters?"

"I do. One of them is a traveler. Has been for the past seven years. Surprised I haven't run into her." The man reeled in his line and held up the empty lure. "Missed again. I suppose baiting a line with a banana doesn't work."

"Lina just uses a spell." Gourry moved next to the black-haired fisherman. They sat in companionable silence as they watch the lure bobble on top of the water. "Do you know where she is?" he asked after a moment.

"I suppose she's awake." The man reeled the line in again.

"Awake? I'm asleep?"

"More or less." The man lifted the empty hook, lowered it, then pinned Gourry with a serious gaze. "You're in a coma, Gourry."

"A coma?"

"Essentially, a very deep sleep. You've currently retreated to the inner recesses of your mind while you come to terms with what's happened."

Gourry beamed. "And Lina claims I've constantly lost my mind! Wait until I tell her that I've found it!"

The man tossed back his head and roared with laughter. "I like you, son," he said, and something about it caused Gourry to blush. "I always did like you. You liked me too. That's why I'm your guide."

"My guide?"

The man stuck his hand out. "Just call me Raulf. I never gave you my name the last time we met."

Gourry shook Raulf's hand, giving him a confused look. "I don't get it. I only spent one night with you five years ago. We fought Mazoku."

"Yes, but that was one of the most important nights of your life." Raulf gave Gourry's hand a squeeze before dropping it. "You were thinking about throwing away the Sword of Light that night if I remember correctly. And I do, considering that this is your memory and despite what my da … despite what Lina thinks, you do have everything tucked away in here quite well. In any case, we'll go over that."

"But why are we doing this?"

Raulf's voice grew serious. "Gourry, what were you doing in the past few days?"

Gourry tugged on his ear and frowned. "Well, we were in that place with the fog and the blue crystals. Taforashia. Being around those crystals gave me a headache, but I didn't tell Lina. I didn't want to make her worry."

"Do you remember being kidnapped four years ago?"

"No?" Gourry's brow furrowed. "I remember the little kid that everyone called Hellmaster. Lina mentioned him a few days ago too, said that the spell Rezo used was like the one Hellmaster used. I remember him taking me away from Lina. Then … I don't know, it's really fuzzy until I woke up standing on a pillar holding Lina. Then she kicked me into the water and accused me of robbing her innocence. She doesn't have any you know."

Raulf's face darkened slightly and his eyebrow winged up. "Oh really?"

Something in the back of Gourry's mind told him that this was an _extremely_ dangerous path upon which to tread. But, Gourry was Gourry and somehow his mouth didn't receive the warning. "Not a bit. Have you seen the way she takes on bandits? And you'd think she was raised in a barn, the way she eats. Doesn't have the first idea on how a lady should behave, y'know? She's pretty flat too. Oh, and you probably want to watch her temper. Really, that Wizer guy just didn't know when to stop."

A slight smile tugged at Raulf's lips. "You really love her, don't you?"

Gourry's answering smile was bright and happy. "Well, yeah. Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"Good. As long as we got it squared away. Getting back on topic, you are in a coma because you were exposed to those crystals. Four years ago, you spent nearly a month trapped inside of one at various times. That, along with other events in your life, caused a hole to be created in your mind. It's time to fill it in, and to remember what happened." Raulf got to his feet. "I am someone you met and have respected. I'm a link to your past. I am also a link to the circumstances that led you to your present. And, I am a link to the future that you and Lina create."

Part of it promptly flew over Gourry's head, so he focused on the last of it. "Am I going to meet you again? After I wake up?"

"If Lina stops dragging her feet, yes you will." Gourry opened his mouth to ask, and Raulf held up his hand. "Don't ask. Spoilers. I can't spoil that for you. Now, we're going to start filling in the gaps."

Gourry scrambled to his feet and followed Raulf as he headed down a path. "Which gaps?"

"All of them." Raulf turned around a bend in the path. When Gourry did the same, he noticed that the trees suddenly seemed thicker. Sand crunched beneath his feet and he had the odd sensation that he'd been here before, but it'd been a long time.

Raulf stopped at the edge of a clearing and Gourry peered over his shoulder. There, in the small space, was a picnic blanket spread out over the ground. The decimated remains of a meal littered the blanket. Just on the other side of it, a boy just hitting the awkward, gangly growth spurt that came with being near puberty stood with a wooden sword. He muttered beneath his breath as he started in on his practice swings, the movement smooth and fluid.

Gourry's eyes widened. "That's me."

Raulf nodded. "That is you." His eyes met Gourry's. "You were 11."

Gourry stared in horror at Raulf as he felt part of his mind start to work its way loose. "Eleven… This is when my dad…" He turned his gaze back to the boy practicing his sword swings and no amount of willpower could rip it away.

Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж

Despite his demand, Pokota's questions weren't answered immediately. He stewed as Zelgadiss and Amelia headed out of the room, each in a different direction. As the minutes ticked by, he glowered at Lina, who kept her gaze fixed on Gourry's face.

The pain was slowly easing from it, relaxing into what she hoped was some form of sleep. Her thumb absently brushed over the back of his palm as thoughts swirled around in her mind. Confusion, worry, righteous anger, and a whole lot more seemed to be an incoherent mass, and she couldn't decide on a single thing to mull over. Before she could, her head abruptly snapped back as she felt a blow on the underside of her chin. When she could see again, Lina noticed Pokota a couple inches from her face.

"What'd you do that for?" Lina yelled at him, not worrying that it would bother Gourry.

"Because you're sitting here brooding like Stone Man does instead of telling me what I want to know!" Pokota glared at Lina. "What the hell's going on here?"

"What the … " Lina rose out of her chair, but didn't loosen her grip on Gourry's hand. "We've been chasing your scrawny ass around various kingdoms for _weeks_ trying to figure out what your big deal is, and now _you're_ demanding the same thing from us? I don't think so. This is none of your business!"

"The hell it isn't!" Pokota yelled back. "I'm not the one causing strange things to come popping in and out of the room at night or having such a reaction to Rezo's magic that I fall into a coma!"

"No, you just happen to be the one destroying mage-tanks in my name so I have obsessive _special inspectors_ attempt to arrest me at every turn! For a week, there was a time I couldn't even go to the bathroom without Wizer Freon popping up! Do you know how mortifying that is?" Especially, Lina thought, since it had been that time of month.

"I have a good reason!"

Lina glanced down at Gourry and for a split second swore she saw a blue crystal flicker around him. "So do I," she said softly, the anger draining from her. "I'm not telling you anything unless you give me something in return."

"I didn't have to give you anything," Pokota huffed. "You found a lot of it on your own when you followed me into Taforashia. You said something about Phibrizzo." He held up his hands and smirked. "Don't tell me an amateur sorceress like you took on a guy like that."

Lina stared long and hard at Pokota, not saying a word as he laughed at the absurd thought. When he realized she wasn't yelling back at him, he quieted and gawked. "You're serious? _You_, a scrawny breast-less thing, took on the Hellmaster?"

"It's only because of Gourry that I'm not flinging your plushy rear out the window right now," Lina growled.

"Prove it!" Pokota demanded.

"I would, but you know what? The spell required to take him down also invited the power of the Sea of Chaos and put our universe at risk of being dissolved into nothing. I think I'll stay away from hands-on demonstrations." Lina focused her attention back on Gourry. "Fine then. I did … something that caused high-level Mazoku to start paying attention to me. Two of them, the Demon Dragon King Gaav and Hellmaster Phibrizzo were feuding and…" Lina launched into the story, carefully omitting any references to Rezo.

When Lina described Hellmaster's spell, the color drained from Pokota's face. "Then that spell … is it leeching the souls of my people?"

He sounded like the prince that he was supposed to be, rather than the brash, callous boy she suspected lurked beneath whatever spell imprisoned him. "I don't know," Lina replied honestly. "Rezo cast that spell, not Phibrizzo. But…" _And here's where it gets tricky_, she thought, "Rezo was constantly seeking a cure for his blindness. That's common knowledge. I'd be surprised if he hadn't come across a fragment of the Claire Bible at some point in his travels and based the spell off of it. The spells I used during the fight with Hellmaster were also taken from Claire Bible fragments, but I had to interpret them. In the process, I've made them my own spells. Rezo probably did the same thing."

Lina grinned when Pokota stared downcast at the bed. "Cheer up!" she said briskly. "It's been years and if your people are still alive, then Rezo got it right. Rezo wasn't meaning to drain their souls away. I think he honestly wanted to save your kingdom." _At least, I hope he did. _"Hellmaster was wanting to use Gourry and eventually kill him to get to me." She shrugged. "It worked."

"Why him?" Pokota hovered above Gourry's head for a bit. "He's got a broken, bent sword, though he's really good at it. He's rather dim-witted, don't you think?"

Lina shrugged again. "He's a jellyfish brain. But he's my jellyfish brain. He swore a long time ago to protect me, and to remain by my side. It goes both ways, y'know? When he needs me, I should be there for him."

Pokota snorted. "You love him, don't you?"

"_That_ is certainly none of your business!"

Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж

_Gourry practiced his sword swings, hoping that his father would emerge with the second picnic basket soon. They'd quickly gone through the first, but his stomach was still demanding extra helpings of potato salad. His father had laughed, ruffled his hair, and went to go see what was taking his mother and older brother so long. They probably got into a fight again, and quite frankly, Gourry was sick of them. He hated seeing his mother and father look so upset over Raol's latest actions. _

_His brother was seven years older than himself and seemed to consider Gourry little more than a nuisance. Since reaching the age of 18, Raol had tried to persuade his father to hand over his birthright – the legendary Sword of Light. Their father explained repeatedly what Gourry had always known from a young age: the sword could not be passed until the current wielder chose to give it up, or died. Father didn't think that Raol was ready, and privately Gourry agreed. He'd always found his towering giant of a brother to be intimidating, and learned quickly to be very agile as he sped through the corridors of the manor to keep away from him._

_He'd gone through half the practice swings when he heard the scream in the forest. His head snapped up, protective instincts already finely honed. "Mother!" he cried and dashed into the forest._

_He leaped over various obstacles as he sped through the trees, his mind fixed on a single goal – protecting her. He burst into the small clearing that held a salt lick for deer and skidded to a stop when he spotted Raol looming over his father. The second picnic basket had spilled all over the ground, and his mother huddled near a tree weeping, blood coating her gown. _

"_Leave them alone, Raol!" Gourry yelled and leaped forward, bringing his sword down on his brother's back._

"_Keep away, runt!" Raol growled, plucking Gourry off his back and flinging him into a nearby tree with the ease one would usually have tossing a ball of lint. Gourry's head hit the back of the tree with a sickening crack, and he slid to the ground. Blood ran from back of his head down his neck, and he forced himself to try to keep consciousness. But instead, all he could see was a growing darkness and the hazy images of Raol standing over their father's body and plunging the blade of his bastard sword deep into his heart. The terrifying death scream echoed through Gourry's head as he gave himself over to oblivion._

Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж

**Author's Note:** The character of Raulf has his origins in a certain un-named black-haired fisherman than Gourry encounters in the short story "The Things That He Sees Beyond the Point of His Sword" that was in vol. 21 of _Slayers Special._ Both men refer to the incident that takes place in the story. Even though it's never stated explicitly, it's pretty obvious who the fisherman is by the end of the story thanks to the dropped hints. This story is also going to contain references to episode 6 of Revolution, hence the updated disclaimer. There was just an element in that episode that was perfect for this story. So, this story takes place between the end of episode 5 and the beginning of episode 7.

Gourry's brother, and the name for his brother, is based off the character of Raoh from "Fist of the North Star." Hajime Kanzaka once said in an interview with his fanclub that Gourry's brother would have the look of Toki, but the personality of Raoh. This will be expounded upon more in the third chapter.


	3. Matters of Honor

**Disclaimer:** Slayers does not belong to me, but belongs to Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi and the companies that represent them. I'm just borrowing the characters for a little while.

**Spoiler alert:** This story takes place after episode 6 of Slayers Revolution and goes off on its own tangent from there. Characters introduced to the new series such as Pokota are included in this story and spoilers from the first five episodes, the novels, and Kanzaka interviews are prevalent throughout this fic. Many thanks go to raywing and EarthStar for betaing this story. This chapter also includes material mentioned in an interview given by Hajime Kazaka that was recently translated into English. The details of that are in the author's notes at the end.

Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж

Chapter 3: Matters of Honor

_"Then what kind of head of security would I be if I let people like me know things that I'm not supposed to know? I know what I know because I have to know it. And if I don't have to know it, I don't tell me, and I don't let anyone else tell me either. Now look, we have tried most of the other ambassadors, why don't you speak to G'Kar, maybe he knows something about this ship."_

_"Under the terms of our recent treaty, I am not authorized to have any official conversation with the Narn without Centauri approval."_

_"So you'll ask unofficially. And I can give you reasonable assurances that the head of security will not report you for doing so."_

_"Because you won't tell yourself about it ?"_

_"That's right. I never get involved with my own life. It's too much trouble."_

_- Michael Garibaldi and EarthForce Special Intelligence Investigator David Endowi: "Matters of Honor," Babylon 5_

Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж

The memory passed and senses returned with a sudden clarity. The grassy smell was almost overwhelming, and the sunlight felt too bright. Gourry stared blankly at the tree, trying to process what he'd seen. It felt like it should have happened to someone else, like one of the disasters he'd encountered as a mercenary or while traveling with Lina. But, no, it had happened to him. Once he remembered it, it seemed to slide itself into a corner of his mind and affix itself there with the knowledge that he was absolutely sure of: He was a good swordsman, he loved Lina, and he saw his brother kill his father.

"Gourry? Are you okay?"

Gourry blinked, then realized that tears were rolling down his cheeks. He turned away from the tree to where Raulf lounged against another, cigarette still dangling from his mouth. "I don't get it," he blurted out. "Why am I remembering all of this now?"

"Because it all leads up to what you need to remember the most. What's the first and foremost goal in your life?"

"To protect Lina," Gourry replied immediately, and Raulf smiled.

"Good. I like that goal. In any case, you can't protect her as long as your body is fighting off the magic left behind by the memory blocks sealing things away." Raulf nodded to the tree. "You didn't remember what happened with your father because you had passed out. But, you remember where you lived until you came almost of age, am I not right?"

Gourry shrugged and dropped to the ground. Raulf sat next to him. "I hope you worked on your poker face around Lina. Remember, it does no good to show your troubles before the girl you love. I told you that, you know. Tell me, what do you remember?"

"If you're a part of me, aren't you supposed to know already?" Gourry asked.

"Humor me."

Gourry licked his lips and bit down on the bottom one for a moment. "After Father died, Mother and I went to stay with my grandma for a few years. She was really nice. They taught me how to act around people, especially when it came to women. Grandma died when I was 17 and we had to go back to where I grew up. I didn't want to go back, because Raol was still there. But, we had no choice."

"If Raol was still alive, how did you wind up with the Sword of Light?"

Gourry suddenly grinned. "Because he couldn't find it!"

"Did you hide it like Sylphiel hid the Blessed Blade?"

"Huh?" Gourry's brow furrowed, his mind having wandered off in another direction. "What's Sylphiel got to do with this? Did you know her too?"

"We'll get to her later. I take it you hid the sword?"

Gourry shook his head. "No, Mother told me that Father did. She told me where to find it too. That was the other reason why we went back. She wanted me to find the sword."

Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж

"_I know what your father told you, Gourry, and I know what the rules of succession are regarding the Sword of Light," Gourry's mother said as they rode in the carriage toward Gourry's childhood home. "Your father always felt that you were the rightful heir and had hoped something would happen for you to inherit the sword. Do you realize why I took you away from your brother, even while still unconscious?"_

"_No?" Gourry fingered the cheap, non-magical sword he received for his 17__th__ birthday. It wasn't much, but he loved it dearly._

"_Your brother left you for dead in the woods, along with me and your father. He just wanted the sword. I managed to get help and get us away, because I knew once Raol couldn't find the sword, he'd come after you."_

"_But, why didn't he come after me when he couldn't find it?"_

_Gourry's mother sat back and beamed. "Because he couldn't. You see, son, your grandma had a barrier cast on her lands that confused certain people that she wanted to keep off her lands. We utilized this to keep your brother from locating us. Unfortunately, the protection failed when your grandma died and the ownership of the lands changed hands. It wouldn't be long before we were sought out. This way, we're facing Raol on our own terms."_

_Gourry nodded absently, really wishing that they could turn the carriage around and go back home. He really didn't want anything to do with this nonsense over the Sword of Light. He knew it was the family legacy, and he had heard the grumblings over how it was unfair, that the sword was to suppose go to Raol rather than himself. Really, Gourry thought, if the sword was going to cause that much trouble, then it was better off going to Raol. He didn't want his family to fight. There'd already been enough bloodshed over it. He closed his eyes and tried to think back to the day his father died, but instead of memories, he was rewarded with a nice headache._

_Their arrival to Gabriev Manor near the capital city of Elmekia was relatively low-key. Much to both Gourry and his mother's relief, Raol wasn't there. He'd most likely gone into the city itself, his mother commented as they walked through the great hall toward the stairs. His mother directed Gourry to his old room, kissed his cheek, then urged him to take a nap. Gourry found himself outside of a room with a gouged door. Frowning, he pushed open the door and began coughing from the dust that had collected from years of disuse._

_He'd forgotten what his room looked like. It was pretty plain, with several bamboo practice swords scattered over the faded rug. Instead of resting, Gourry picked up one of the swords and gave it a test swing. It was so light in his hand that he chuckled. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and for a moment remembered the boy that he used to be. He moved through a series of practice exercises, then tossed the sword aside as he stretched out on the dusty duvet. Within moments, he was asleep._

_He woke to the sound of raised voices and breaking pottery. Instantly, Gourry rolled out of bed and snatched up the first weapon at his disposal, the practice sword. The real sword he'd been gifted with for his birthday two years earlier was still with their luggage, and he cursed himself for not having it now. He opened his door, grateful when the hinges barely creaked. _

_He spotted the shadows of figures in the torchlight that lit the hallway. His mother, he realized, and a tall man. Gourry peered around the doorway to see his brother looming over their mother. He couldn't see the look on Raol's face, but he could tell from the posture that the man was furious. He pressed himself back into the shadows as the two yelled at each other._

"_You deliberately hid my legacy!" Raol was yelling. "You had no right to take what was legally and morally mine, Mother!"_

"_I had every right to do whatever it takes in order to protect the Gabriev legacy," their mother replied in a tense voice. "You were not ready for the sword. You still aren't. Your brother is far more qualified to carry on the family legacy."_

"_I should have killed off that puny runt to begin with," Raol snarled. "The family legacy is my right, not his. Where is the Sword of Light?"_

_Their mother lifted her chin. "I will forever regret the day that I allowed you to stay with those no-good uncles of yours. They poisoned your mind, and this is what you've become. As long as I have breath, I'll ensure that you never lay your hands on the Sword of Light."_

_Raol's hand snapped out, pinning her to the wall by her throat. "Then, I'll do my best to extinguish it," he hissed and bore down, causing her to gasp for air._

"_Leave her alone!" Gourry roared, springing from the doorway. He swung the bamboo sword down, but Raol's free arm shot out as he pivoted to defend himself from the blow. Gourry hit Raol's arm, then was flung back several feet, slamming to the ground with enough force for him to lose hold of the practice sword. It skittered across the floor, coming to rest by a suit of armor._

_Raol flung their mother aside as if she was a doll. "I'll finish what I started seven years ago," he said in a low voice, unsheathing the ordinary blade at his waist. "Our uncles always advised me to get rid of the liabilities. You, runt, are my biggest liability."_

_Gourry scooted back a few feet and grabbed the sword as he got to his knees. "You're going to find I'm not a kid anymore, Raol." He held out his sword in front of him. "I'm not going to let you hurt Mother or anyone else over this."_

"_What do you think you'll do with a bamboo stick?" Raol sneered._

_Gourry eyed the suit of armor. "This!" He kicked the armor off the stand and into Raol's path, giving him just enough time to dodge the sword swing that followed. Gourry spun and took advantage of the brief distraction to slam the sword into Raol's right side. The force of the blow broke the bamboo sword in half._

_Raol pivoted, snatched up Gourry by his tunic and held the blade to his neck. "Stupid move, little brother," he sneered. _

"_Oh, I don't think so," Gourry countered and shifted his body weight. It was a calculated risk, and he felt the steel slice lightly over his throat as Raol lost his balance and tumbled backward over the fallen armor. It was enough for Gourry to break free and grab one of the suit arms, and hold it over his head as Raol regained his balance and swung at Gourry._

_He needed to disarm Raol, Gourry realized as he parried attack after attack. He had no other effective weapon than the pieces he could get off the armor. He tried a roundhouse kick after blocking one of the attacks, but Raol dodged and caused Gourry to slam into the wall. Pain sang through his body from the blow, but Gourry ignored it. He turned around and barely managed to prevent his neck from being sliced as Raol drove the sword toward his throat once more. This dodge took Gourry away from the wall and close to the stairs._

_Raol raised the bastard sword one more time. "This ends now!" _

"_Gourry!" _

_His head snapped around and he spotted his mother with a sword hilt in her hands. She tossed it at him. It was a weak throw, but enough. Gourry dove, catching the hilt and breathed the words his father once taught him as Raol sped toward him. "Light come forth!"_

_The light blade burst forth from the hilt and barely saved Gourry's life as parried the deathblow that Raol nearly inflicted. "Looks like we're evenly matched now!"_

_Raol swung toward their mother. "Bitch!" he hissed. "You'll die for this!" He raised the sword, started to swing._

"_No!" The words burst forth from Gourry's mouth as he scrambled to his feet. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as he saw the blade arching down toward their mother. Memories crashed through the mental blocks in his mind and he saw his father lying in a pool of blood, Raol's sword plunged deep into his heart. He couldn't let it happen again. He had to protect his mother. _

_His next move was pure instinct. Gourry held out the sword and willed for the blade to hit Raol in any way possible. The light blade shot out from the hilt, sailing through the hallway with the speed of a barbed arrow and into Raol's heart. _

_But it was too late._

_At the same time Gourry's attack hit, so did Raol's. Blood sprayed through the air as Gourry watched in horror as his mother was decapitated. The head fell to her feet, the body crumpling seconds later at the same time as her eldest son's as her youngest slumped to the floor and started to sob._

Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж

"Hey, he's crying," Pokota told Lina as she walked back in the room from a trip to the privy.

"What?" Lina approached the bed and saw that Pokota was right. Tears were running down Gourry's cheeks, and he looked so sad that something in her own chest throbbed. She grabbed one of the hand towels next to the washbasin and wiped his face with it.

"Look at you, so caring and nurturing," Pokota teased, and was rewarded with a face full of balled up towel.

"You better watch who you call nurturing," Lina snarled. "I'm the beautiful sorcery genius Lina Inverse after all! When Gourry wakes up, he's gonna wait on me hand and foot for putting me through this!"

"Sure, sure." Pokota laughed and perched silently on the bedpost as he watched Lina take Gourry's hand once more. He wondered if she was aware that she was doing it. He wasn't quite sure about the way relationships worked. His mother died when he was a baby, and he'd only been starting to recognize girls in a non-icky fashion when the illness struck Taforashia.

But all four of them – Lina, Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadiss – seemed to be split off into their own groups and Pokota suspected that they were extremely powerful when working together. It was why he took out Gourry first when he fought Lina. _Adults are weird_, Pokota decided as he mulled over the complexities in his mind. The flat-chested shrew he'd encountered again and again just wasn't reconciling in his mind with the almost gentle woman who kept watch over her partner.

"Lina Inverse!"

Lina's head snapped up as the door burst open and a pair of handcuffs came sailing into the room. She ducked and the metal cuffs slammed into the wall right above her head. On the bed, Gourry never moved. She popped back up and jabbed a finger at the man looming in her doorway. "If you think you're coming to arrest me, you've got another thing coming, pal!"

The man strode into the room and straightened his coat lapels indignantly. "Pal! I'm…"

"Ruvinagard Special Inspector Wizer Freion," Lina and Pokota both said at the same time. Wizer walked past Pokota without sparing him a glance. "What have I done now?" Lina demanded in a sour voice. "Skinned kittens alive and tossed them into boiling water before feeding their carcasses to people?"

Wizer's eyes went wide. "Ah hah! So you are admitting to…"

"It's just a joke!" Lina screamed at him. Pokota slapped one of his ears against his forehead in exasperation. "Look, we've not been near any mage tanks lately and you seemed to be perfectly happy to…"

Wizer held up his hands. "Oh, there is still the warrant out for your arrest. However, we have crossed into the borders of Lyzelle where I do not have jurisdiction. If I arrested you now, you would be able to get out on a technicality, and it would be an embarrassment to the guild of the most special of special inspectors."

Lina folded her arms over her chest. _I spy with my little eye, some whopping lies coming from Wizer's mouth. I have a bad feeling about this._ "So, if you're not here to haul me off in chains, then why bother to come rub it in? Unless you're just planning to tag along until we get somewhere that you have jurisdiction again."

Wizer rocked back on his heels. "It would be a waste of kingdom resources to do such a thing. I merely happened to be passing through on my way back to Ruvinagard to secure the documents needed to expand my jurisdiction."

"Uh huh..."

Wizer laid his hand on the doorknob, paused for a moment, then tossed a glance over his shoulder. "Rumor has it that you've met with a marquess named Gioconda within the past week or so within the kingdom of Taforashia."

Lina placed a hand on her hip, regarded Wizer carefully. "I might have." She held up a hand when Pokota opened his mouth to speak. "Yeah? Keeping tabs on everyone I talk to lately, Wizer?"

"Only when it pertains to my case," Wizer replied lightly. He pulled open the door. "Oh, yes, yes. From what my sources have told me, Gioconda-dono is quite angry with you."

"If I kept a list of everyone who's ever gotten pissed with me, it'd stretch from here to the Desert of Destruction."

"Quite true," he replied. "However, there seems to be a cohort of hers, a beast man, who seems to be looking for you."

"Duclis," Pokota breathed.

Lina didn't say anything for a moment as the uneasy feeling grew in the pit of her stomach. "I take it you've come across this beastman recently. Say on the road heading toward this town?"

"Perhaps," Wizer replied. He waved his hand dismissively. "Oh, it's probably nothing. I'm sure that he and his henchmen aren't keeping good tabs on you the way I am, though if they reach this town, it would be easy to realize that you're lodging in this inn." His gaze landed on Gourry briefly. "Though, I think should they realize it, and the state of your ragtag party that they would take advantage of it as I, Wizer Freion would … if I had jurisdiction."

Lina shrugged, holding up her hands. "Of course, of course. Go get your paperwork, Wizer-san."

"Believe me, I shall!" Wizer gave a slight nod of his head and swept out the door. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with a priest," he said as he disappeared down the hall.

Pokota flew over to the door and closed it as Lina stood in the middle of the room, brow furrowed. "What a strange man," he observed as he floated to Lina and perched on top of her head.

"He's smarter than you give him credit for," Lina said, walking over to the window and opening it as Wizer stepped outside to where Amelia and Zelgadiss were. Words were exchanged briefly and he started down the road. "He just warned us that we're going to be attacked tonight by Duclis."

"You mean he was helping us?" Pokota asked in disbelief.

"Believe it or not, yes." Lina thought back to how Wizer used her to catch a sorcerer who was creating illegal chimeras not that long ago. "He's right, you know. If Duclis realized that Gourry's down for the count, he'll exploit that. We've got to make sure we keep Gourry safe, because if Gioconda gets ahold of him …"

Pokota thought of the story that Lina had just shared with him regarding Phibrizzo and shuddered. He noticed Lina gripping the window tightly, her gaze cold as ice. "If you let that happen, you're a pretty shabby sorceress!"

That snapped Lina out of her thoughts, and fears, of Gourry being kidnapped again. "Who're you calling a shabby sorceress!" she screamed at him, snatching him from his perch atop her head and flinging him across the room onto Amelia's bed.

Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж

"I thank you for allowing me to go talk with her," Wizer told Amelia and Zelgadiss as he approached them. "I wanted to make sure that she still realized that the … as you would put it princess, 'fists of justice,' were still after her."

"Yes, of course, Wizer-san," Amelia replied.

Zelgadiss frowned. He had followed Wizer into the inn and up the stairs, using his enhanced hearing to listen to the conversation he and Lina had from the hallway. He had quickly reached the same conclusion Lina had and came back down to tell Amelia. "Why are you helping us, Wizer?" he demanded.

"Help?" Wizer gave Zelgadiss a blank look.

"You didn't have to stop here at all," Zelgadiss pointed out. "As you said, you had no jurisdiction here. You wanted to tip Lina off about Gioconda and Duclis."

"It's impolite to listen to other people's conversations, Zelgadiss-san," Wizer chided.

He ignored that fact. "Well?"

Wizer rubbed his chin and gave the two a small smile. "You can just say it goes against my own interests to have Gioconda arrest Lina Inverse before I can. You can say … it's a matter of honor with me." He lifted his hand in a gesture of farewell and started down the road with Amelia and Zelgadiss staring after him.

"What a strange man," Amelia mused and gave Zelgadiss a sideways look. "How much time do you think we have before Duclis gets here?"

"Not much." Zelgadiss laid a hand on the small of Amelia's back, gently propelling her toward the inn. "Let's go talk with Lina and see what we're going to do."

Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж•Ж

**Author's Note:** So, the original story outline didn't involve either Gourry's brother nor his mother dying. Originally, Gourry was suppose to have stolen the sword and gotten away in the night. However, a week or so after the second chapter came out, QP-Diana translated an interview that Hajime Kanzaka did back in April into English, dropping all sorts of lovely new tidbits about the characters - including the fact that Gourry's brother died during the whole family struggle over the Sword of Light. He didn't go into detail about how he died, but I had sudden flashbacks to Rurouni Kenshin. For those of you who've seen the series, you'll understand the parallel in the scene I wrote and a certain horrific moment in Kenshin's life. For those of you who haven't seen the series, I highly recommend doing so. Immediately. In any case, in the revised storyline, only Raol died. But then this version turned up and it makes sense. So why kill her off? That will be explained in the next chapter!


	4. Turn Left

**Disclaimer:** Slayers does not belong to me, but belongs to Hajime Kanzaka and Rui Araizumi and the companies that represent them. I'm just borrowing the characters for a little while.

**Spoiler alert:** This story takes place between episodes 6 and 7 of Slayers Revolution. Many thanks go to EarthStar for betaing this story. Recognizable dialogue from the middle of the chapter comes from the short story, "The Things He Sees Beyond the Point of His Sword," from Slayers Special vol. 24. The original translation was done by QP-Diana, supplied with a secondary translation from my own copy and cleaned up the English.

Chapter 4: "Turn Left"

"_You turned left. But what if you'd turned right? What then?"_

_- Fortune Teller to Donna Noble: "Turn Left," Doctor Who_

-----

"I didn't save her."

The despondent words echoed through the clearing, and the once too-bright scene suddenly dulled until everything was muted shades of grey. The only color surrounding Gourry was coming from his companion, who reclined against a rock and waited for him.

"Damn it!" Gourry's fist came down hard on the ground as the memories finished seeping back into the places where they belonged. He dragged a hand through his hair, pulling at his bangs in frustration. He'd killed his brother. He'd caused his mother's death. He …

"Oi. Before you turn into a stewing pot of angst, let me tell you one thing." Raulf pushed off his perch and moved to stand before Gourry. "You didn't cause her death."

"I didn't say it aloud."

"We're in your mind, remember? Your thoughts are broadcasting loud and clear." Raulf folded his arms over his chest and chewed absently on his unlit cigarette. "Now, let me repeat this before I have to beat it into you. You didn't cause her death. You're a mercenary, yes? You're Lina Inverse's bodyguard, yes? You are no stranger to death."

"But I …"

Raulf suddenly planted his foot in the middle of Gourry's chest, forcing the younger man onto his back. He sighed. "Children. They never listen."

Gourry blinked up at him. "Um … But I'm not …"

Raulf merely arched an eyebrow, then chuckled. "Close enough, I think."

Gourry struggled to sit up. "If I couldn't protect my mother, how can I protect Lina?"

"She's not dead yet, is she? Well, permanently that is."

Gourry hesitated. "No …"

"Then, son, I think you're doing an adequate job of protecting her. I have it on good faith that if you weren't, her family in Zefielia would have a word or two to say to you." Raulf winked. "Son, you're not a dad. You want to be one some day. I can see that in you. Parents, the good ones, will protect their children no matter what the cost to themselves. Your mother could only save one of you. It's terrible, seeing child pitted against child. But she would still do her best to save her children. If it was me and one of my daughters were about to get killed, I would gladly take the blow." Raulf's expression gentled. "We don't want our sacrifices to be in vain."

"Mister …," Gourry started to say, but then the scene changed around him again. He stood upon cobblestone, buildings and temples crowding around him. He swung around, looking for Raulf, and saw himself again. "Not another one," he muttered, not quite sure he could take the mental blow. Then the door to one of the temples opened and a familiar-looking girl stepped out. Raven-black hair swung at her hips as she gave the younger him a gentle smile.

"_Gourry-sama, you look recovered from your wounds." Sylphiel Nels Lahda gently took his arm and led him down the street._

_He grinned at her. "Your cooking went a long way in helping with that, Sylphiel."_

_Her cheeks pinked, and she glanced away quickly. Then, she shifted her focus back to him and her eyes were serious. "You'll be joining the rest of your squad soon, yes?"_

"_Yeah. Think if I push myself, I'll catch up to them before they reach the Coastal states."_

"_That's good." Sylphiel chewed on her lip as they approached one of the majestic fountains honoring Ceiphied that were spread throughout the city. She came to a halt, forcing Gourry to stop with her. Her gaze swept over the large statute before she took a deep breath. "I was wondering … where did you go last night?"_

_Gourry felt his cheeks redden. "I couldn't sleep really," he said. "Just haven't been able to sleep that well."_

"_I see," Sylphiel said slowly, and Gourry suddenly felt as if he was about to be chastised by his mother. "Does your inability to sleep often drive you to wander?"_

"_Yeah," he admitted and he found he couldn't quite meet her eyes._

"_During the battle, when you used the Sword of Light, you mentioned something about bringing honor and not disgrace to your family. Does it have something to do with that?"_

"_I don't want to talk about it," he snapped. Sylphiel barely flinched._

"_Gourry-sama, you know as well as I do that what you're doing isn't healthy. I can tell, you won't even look at me." Her grip on him tightened until he finally did, expecting to see tears in her eyes. Instead, he saw compassion and a steely resolve. "I care for you a great deal, Gourry-sama. As a shrine maiden, it's my duty to help those who are lost."_

_He gave her an odd look. "I'm right here, Sylphiel."_

_She laughed. "Not in the physical sense, Gourry-sama. Beyond that. I help people who carry a great burden on their souls. You hide it well, but you carry one on yours. That's why you go out at night, wandering and … that's why you said those words in the middle of the battle. What you're doing isn't that different from your comrades, and I sense they're the ones who've had that influence on you." She scowled a bit. "But, who you are doesn't match what you're trying to look for. You're a good, good man, Gourry-sama."_

_With a heavy sigh, Gourry sat on the edge of the fountain, knowing exactly what Sylphiel was talking about. "No, I'm not," he admitted. "I did a horrible thing a few years ago. I don't ever want to talk about it."_

_Sylphiel didn't say anything for a moment. "Whatever it was," she decided, "it was a great sacrifice, wasn't it?"_

"_You could put it that way." He stared at the ground. _

_Sylphiel leaned forward and gently tipped Gourry's chin up until his eyes met hers. "Then, don't let that sacrifice be in vain," she instructed. "Don't throw it away."_

"It's wasteful."

Gourry startled, so caught up in the memory that he didn't realize at first that the scene suddenly changed, and he was standing on the shore of a lake. He faced Raulf, blinking with surprise. Am I in another memory? No, this feels different. I'm back in my mind, but ... "I'm sorry?" he stuttered.

"It's wasteful." Raulf repeated, tilting his head. "Do you have a grudge against your sword? Will you throw it away?"

Gourry looked down and saw the Sword of Light hilt in his hand. His grip tightened on it as the newly released memories rolled through his mind. The murders, the five years of wandering and seeking release from his nightmares where ever he could find. He glared at Raulf. "It's none of your business. If you're wanting me to give you my sword, I'm not doing that."

"Whoever said I asked for your sword?. I don't care if you throw the sword away. I don't care if someone else takes it and kills many, or if you use that sword to save people." Raulf shrugged and adjusted the fishing pole on his shoulder, casting his gaze over the water. "Again, none of my business."

"Then, what's the point?" Gourry snapped, really wishing the man would go away.

Raulf rocked back on his heels and for a moment, Gourry was reminded of Lina for some odd reason. "When I was younger, I was a mercenary too. It was my policy to call a man 'second class' when he doesn't care about his sword, and a man 'third class' if he's hard on it. Thus, I was interested in you and meddled. I wanted to see what kind of man you are."

Shame rolled through Gourry and he stared at the Sword of Light.

"Don't mind me. Throw away the sword if you don't like it. It won't get rid of what's on your mind. And, speaking of that, don't display those troubles in front of the woman you're in love with."

Lina's face popped into his mind once more. "Why not?" he challenged.

Raulf blinked, a slow smile spreading. "Well now," he murmured, "that's different." His features softened and his voice gentled. "I used to be alone, like you. Then I found my wife. We married and had our daughters. Like you, I had my own worries and regrets. I realized that I'd do them all over again, though, if it led me to my wife once more."

"Did you ever tell your wife about them?"

Raulf grinned. "Idiot. How did you think my wife knew I loved her?"

The scene shifted again, and Gourry found himself on the path just outside Kulsida, where he had met Raulf for the first time just over five years ago. Instead of being alone, Raulf appeared in front of him. He stretched out his fingers, waggling them. "So, want to give me that?"

"Not on your life." Gourry quickly tucked the sword where it belonged.

"Well then." Raulf flipped his hair over his shoulder and gestured to the road. "On that day, after I left you, what did you decide to do?"

"I …" Gourry's voice trailed off as he thought of Raulf's words and Sylphiel's advice. "I didn't think there was anything I could do to make up for what I did."

"But, you did something, didn't you. Look at the roads. One road went to where you are right now. The other will take you down a completely different road."

"What?" Gourry startled. "Wait, I thought I was still looking at my memories."

Raulf's face twisted into a smile that reminded him of Xelloss. "Ah, but here's where the magic in this situation lies. The memory blocks on you are so powerful, so strong, that if you don't navigate out of them correctly that you'll do irrepairable damage to your mind. You'll won't remember a thing that's happened in the past five years, possibly longer. There's a good chance you'll turn into a vegetable."

Gourry's eyebrow winged up. "I'm going to turn into celery?" he asked, horrified.

"Essentially." Raulf steered him around. "You've got to choose the right path, Gourry. Right or left. Which way did you go then?"

Panic flooded him. He didn't remember having to make a decision like that! He just simply wandered where he wanted to wander. But now ... "Gah!" Gourry grabbed at his hair, tugging. He looked over his shoulder. "I don't remember! I don't remember which way I went, Raulf-san. Raulf-san?" Then his eyes widened as he realized that he was alone.

Terrified, Gourry turned back to the path. One would take him down the road to Lina. The other would literally destroy him. He thought of Lina. If he were rendered useless, who would protect her? Hell, worse than that, who would protect the world from her? His hands tightened into fists. He wanted to be with her. He would do anything to get to her. For her sake, he had to get to her and save her once more. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and let the past roll through him.

Then he turned left.

-----

The first explosion happened about an hour before dawn. The force of it shook the inn violently. Lina tumbled out of her chair. Amelia, who'd been napping on her bed with Pokota nestled on her head, found herself on the floor. She flailed a bit as she fought with her cloak and got to her feet just as Lina reached the window.

"There's our wake-up call," Lina announced, then stuck her head outside. "Zel!" she called down.

"Just outside of town," he yelled back.

"Lina-san, we've got to draw them away so they won't hurt anyone," Amelia implored.

Lina nodded in agreement. "You're right. If they want a fight, we're going to give him one, and we've got to be there first!" She snagged her cloak off the back of the chair. "Let's go, Amelia, Pokota."

"What about Gourry?" Pokota wondered.

"We can't leave him!" Amelia protested as Lina draped her cloak over her shoulders. "What if the inn's attacked?"

"We've got no choice. These minions of Duclis' may not even know about him, and if they sense one of us is out of commission …" Lina gave Amelia a smile. "Relax! It's not like Gourry's going anywhere, and even if he did, you know him. He'd probably grab the wash basin and start clobbering people with it to help out."

Amelia relaxed and laughed a bit. "True."

"Let's get to it then!"

"Right!" Amelia sailed out the door and headed for the stairs, then realized that Lina wasn't following her. She crept back to the doorway and froze at the sight before her.

Lina had moved back to the bedside and was staring down at Gourry, her bangs obscuring her face to the point where Amelia couldn't see the look in her eyes. Lina reached forward, laid a hand on Gourry's cheek.

"Look, you better figure out whatever it is that needs figuring out in there and wake up soon. You've got to pull your own weight around here, you know. No more slacking off! You're making me worry too much, you silly jellyfish for brains." With that, Lina leaned forward and kissed Gourry's forehead. She pulled away and stroked his cheek. "I lo...."

And then, as with all the touching moments in Lina Inverse's life, her words were drowned out by a massive explosion.

Lina raced to the window, Amelia rushing into the room to join her. On the ground in front of the inn, they spotted two familiar-looking figures.

"Say, aren't those the two who operated the other golem in the Gongoro Festival?" Amelia asked.

"You're right!" She frowned. "They're working with Duclis?"

"But they seemed harmless before ..."

"It doesn't matter now. Let's go, Amelia!" Lina pushed the window open and leaped out, casting a Levitation as she did so.

Amelia grasped the sill and moved to follow, then glanced over her shoulder at Gourry's still form. She thought of Lina's soliloquy and grinned despite the danger. She allowed herself one small moment of joy at the romantic moment, then leaped out the window.


End file.
